How to survive your next clothes shop


So on Thursday last week, I went shopping. And lo-and-behold, if this delightful idea didn’t turn into a self-sabotage session. Well, at least it did for the first 5 minutes of entering the changing room. After which, I gave myself a stern talking to. And things got better.

It’s amazing how we know exactly what we look like, and yet we allow measures to make us feel defeat in a way nothing else can. By measures I mean scales & clothes-sizes. Both of these trivial elements of life, seem to bring with them loaded questions – which flood our brains the moment we are faced with REALITY.

Questions like:

Is that really me?
Me….I’m a size 36?


Quickly turn into inward hatred speech, like

Remember when you used to be skinny. OR You are disgusting.


While you may feel that this is true, it is certainly not the way that “Healthy, whole, gorgeous you” deserves to be spoken to. I often ask my clients if they spoke to their sister/daughter in the way they speak to themselves in front of a mirror (or on a scale), what would her self esteem be like?

To which, most laugh and admit they’d NEVER say anything like that to a loved one. And yet there you stand, self-defeating the only you that will ever exist. Stop blaming the media, or gyms or your local girls group for your low self esteem. My beautiful friend, this war starts in your head. And you need to get your big girl panties on to tackle this one!

So how does one face the dreaded clothes shop?

  1. Know your realistic clothes size

Decide before you leave home what size clothes you are currently wearing. If you’re a 34 then flaunt that 34. Don’t fool yourself into believing you’re a smaller size then you are. We can all see you everyday, so just because you suddenly realize that you’re a size bigger doesn’t change a thing!! This will be the 1st thing that will honesty free you up in the changing room.

  1. Say these words

On entering the changing room, say these words.

I choose to respect, love & honour this temple.

Treating yourself like a villain will only draw out the rebellious YOU who will leave the changing room and buy a cinnamon bun to self-punish even further. Speak to the gorgeous, fulfilled you more often & you will find soon, that she is the one who shows up when you’re faced with food-choices.

  1. Know your style

Choose something that suits that gorgeous figure of yours. My darling friend, not everyone has good legs, a shapely bum or big boobs. Be realistic. Know your body and know what works for it. Show those stunning features of yours – and hide the bits that were, perhaps, never made for public viewing 😉

  1. Flaunt it.

Knowing your body is unique and gorgeous means that no matter what size you are, you’ll be able to pull off any outfit with confidence. So, do that model pose you do every time you look in the mirror 😉 You know what I’m talking about girl!!! 

  1. Assess the damage

And I’m not talking about your credit card balance 😉 There’s another bit of damage control I’m talking about here.

For many, clothes shops reveal where we’re at weight-wise. So maybe you have put on (or lost) a little too much weight. But there is no need to speak badly to yourself in that public changing room.

Treat yourself as you would your daughter. Once home, put on that sexy new outfit of yours, model it for the family and then get out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down where you’re at right now (your current reality weight wise) – try to be objective and not too emotional here. Next write down how you feel you got here {Your why}. Now right down 2 actions you’ll take this week that will get you on a path towards healthy, whole YOU again! {Taking charge but treating yourself with respect while you do this}

While clothes shops can make us go into ‘frantic’ weight-loss mode, this is never healthy and your cutting out EVERYTHING unhealthy is likely to end after a day or two. And this will, once again, make you feel like a failure. So don’t even go there. Instead, be realistic and set yourself 2 do-able, challenging actions for the week. By successfully completing 2 positive steps in the right direction, you are likely to fuel a momentum, which would never have occurred with a self-hate mentality.

Eeeek. Lastly, wear your new outfit to work tomorrow! You are gorgeous TODAY. Don’t waste an outfit on waiting for the ‘right body’; you are likely to continuously change the standards, so flaunt it beautiful!!!




  1. Fathima K on December 12, 2015 at 1:14 am

    I’ve been going through some health issues over the past few years that haven’t been kind to my body and what I’ve always known it to be. What you’ve mentioned here has been an ongoing state that I’ve been in this whole time and it’s really difficult, but this article has helped me feel a bit better and less alone in my struggle. Thanks Caitlyn!

    • caitlyndb on December 31, 2015 at 9:22 am

      So glad this post was a comfort to you. This struggle is so real for so many girls <3 xxx

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