In my pursuit of taming my inner critic, and pursuing self-love, I have taken on a number of new habits or practices that I previously placed no value on. One such habit is that of putting cream on my body after a shower – a beautiful act of loving on my body.
Recently, I came face-to-face with a habit of mine that I thought might be opposing to that of self-love.
More specifically…
The idea that those who value investing in quality items value themselves more than those who spend less, on more.
I have a friend who dresses beautifully, and spends a small fortune too. And on seeing her recently I was challenged personally on the amount of effort I put into my appearance. Don’t get me wrong I regularly highlight my hair, keep fit and tend to dress well (I feel) but the truth is that when, if ever, I buy new clothes I always go for cheaper items and prefer quantity over quality.
And so yesterday, on my ‘sick day’, I thought I’d act in self-love and treat myself to a beautiful item of clothing. Something classy, expensive even. I trekked my sick body to a local mall, in pursuit of bits-and-bobs Sarah needed and then landed up at one our most popular South African acceptably-upmarket brand stores. Now for most of the people in my circles I interact with, this shop isn’t ‘particularly’ expensive; but for me, paying R350+ for a new top sends my little brain into a panic. But I was there to practice self-love. I was determined to find something I loved….
After a half an hour in the store, coughing up a storm and with my throat aching, I walked out with my tail between my legs; feeling like a failure for not having it in me to be willing to spend a few R100 on 1 item of clothing. I was about to walk to my car when I remembered that Mr Price was just down the passage and so I popped in there for a quick squizz.
30 minutes later I walked out of Mr P with not 1 but 4 new items of clothing, having spent exactly what one nice top at the more expensive shop would have cost me. And that’s when IT HIT ME.
The kid in me that would be far more excited about the amount of prezzies that Father Christmas brought, over what the value of each gift, actually was, is simply who I am. Fast-forward 20 something years later and that’s still me. Self Love isn’t about conforming to norms or changing who you are, it’s about digging deep and practicing acts that show yourself that YOU matter…and if that’s buying 1 gorgeous expensively-branded top or 4 cheaper ones that’s irrelevant. Prioritizing YOU is all that important here!
PS: Let me know in the comments below if you’re a quality or quantity person…
Wow Cait! I’ve been struggling with the same questions for a very long time and very recently decided that HALF my closet needed to go – I am definitely a Quantity and Quality girl… desire the best of both worlds which feeds into my ‘wanting everything and never having enough’ habit which I am slowly starting to un-learn/ replace with appreciation and gratefulness. But yea this is a very good question for me because I can’t seem to choose which one I am which I guess in a way is also alright if I can afford it hey:) Good article with no judgement either way! Love it!
It’s such a real thing for so many of us, hey. The old “I don’t have any clothes” dilemma. LOVE what you said about gratefulness – in a nutshell, it heals most wounds!! But yay for figuring these things out and thanks for commenting here <3
I must admit I have always put quantity before quality. I believe a cheaper item of clothing can look just as beautiful as an expensive item of clothing. BUT, the other day I was fortunate to be able to try QUALITY and tried on a pair of black Guess jeans. I was in love – not because of the brand, but because of the fit and how they made me feel – Amazing! People have told me that investing in a more expensive pair of jeans is advisable as the colour doesn’t fade and they keep their shape. From my experience, jeans from Mr Price are awesome but yes, they do lose their colour and shape quickly, especially the black jeans. So I did the deed and BOUGHT MY GUESS JEANS – and again I stress not because of Brand but because they fit so well therefore make me feel so good and confident. I am also putting them to the test to see how the colour and shape lasts compared to Mr Price.
So, in deciding quantity or quality, I don’t look at the materialistic side of “Brand” in the aspect of “showing off” that I can wear expensive clothing, I rather see the expensive clothing and buy it because I love the look so much and to top it off get a happy satisfaction that it is going to last!! Cheap or expensive, if it makes you feel special and you love it – BUY IT!! You are showing self love by choosing an item of clothing that your body loves and feels good in – no matter how cheap or expensive 🙂
Yay for divine jeans. And absolutely agree – we need to buy what suits us and makes us feel beautiful <3 xxxx
Lovely insight, and something I’ve also thought a lot about!! When I was younger I always went quantity …. about four years ago I remember standing in front of my cupboard and looking at ALL my stuff and realising that not one thing made me happy!! It was time to change it up!! Over the past few years, I’ve slowly replaced most of my waredrobe with quality items! I now have only a few shelves of clothes – and I LOVE IT! I love the declutter, I love that I have to value and take care of my stuff, and I love that I save carefully for specific items rather than just splurging!! I agree, Kit, It’s such a weirdly personal thing and it can bring such tremendous happiness!
So true Deb. (Know you were always my Mr P buddy) 🙂 Decluttering is so important too though and actually something I did recently too – amazing how much ‘stuff’ we have but don’t need. Thanks for sharing Debs xx
Something I always deal with when I am at the mall! I have two little thoughts I want to share. One is I feel such a freedom shopping for what I love and for what makes me feel pretty no matter where it comes from (I even got this winter top from Ackermans last year and everyone that saw it commented on how pretty it was and inside I wondered, “would they have not commented that they liked it if they knew where it was from?”) I love feeling free enough to shop anywhere and everywhere.
But on the other hand I recently had a “I need to love myself” moment and I headed off to the mall and bought myself some really gorgeous quality items of clothes because I needed some smarter things…and that also made me feel beautiful.
Basically to say for me something is quality if it makes you feel beautiful no matter what the pricetag says!
So I know this is just some random ramblings but I wanted to share! xxx
I agree completely. It’s about feeling beautiful no matter the price tag. Thanks for sharing my friend <3 And yay or pretty winter tops 🙂