For as long as I can remember I have built walls around me, much like you perhaps. Walls that protect me, from others, but sometimes even from myself. These walls weren’t ‘meant to be’, they weren’t predestined, or chosen with huge intention; they just sort of happened. You see, in life our hearts sometimes get bruised, sometimes even injured, and our immediate response is to self-protect. It’s our way of saying, “I’m gonna do everything in my power to avoid going through that again.”
Much like the Bible stories when walls literally crumbled, about 9 years ago, my self-protect walls got shaky, and eventually fell to the ground. While it was one of the saddest, and hardest times of my life, it was also the very moment that, for the first in years, I learnt to fly again. (Metaphorically of course).
Years later, I sit here this morning, reflecting…
There have indeed been times since, when I have felt those walls silently re-erecting themselves around me; but so far, I have consciously made an effort to acknowledge them, to forgive, to breathe, and to let them fall. This process of living vulnerable is no easy task, but it does mean that we never fear being alone, un-present, or so-guarded that we miss out on life itself.
In saying all that, just last week, a friend in our home-group (Bible Study) gave me a word that he felt God had given him to share with me. He shared on how Solomon had lost his strength after having his hair cut, but still managed to push down towers when the time was needed.
The reason this applies to me, and maybe does to you too; is that sometimes, we feel that the walls around us are our strength. They are the very things that keep us safe, strong and capable, much like Solomon’s hair. But truth be told, the moment that those walls crumble, is the very moment when we realize our strength lies elsewhere.
Somewhere deep down, you have the strength to cope in life, without walls around you. You have the grace to treat others with respect, even when it hurts. You have the courage to stand alone, even when it’s scary. And you have the confidence to walk with your head held high, even when your life looks messy.
You are enough, even without the walls around you.
It’s ok to let go, my friend. It’s ok to just be.