The truth behind your dysfunctional relationship with food

COFFEE-5

This topic is such a sensitive one, and one so many girls are scared to even admit that they’re facing. And for that reason, I will try and stick to referring to this ‘thing’ as your ‘dysfunctional relationship with food’, rather than the overpowering eating disorder.

I want to start by saying “You gonna beat this my friend”. 8 years ago I walked a path similar to the one you’re probably on now, so I get it. I get the self-hate, wanting to give up. I get the anger, hour-upon-hour of food-planning, gyming, resenting that extra biscuit, the likes. And I want to scream from the rooftop that YOU, beautiful, are merely minutes away from breakthrough!! And it starts today!!

I have 3 ‘theories’ on where eating disorders/dysfunctional-relationships-with food come from and, inline with these, why we struggle to break free of them. I’m not saying there aren’t others out there, gracious there are many theories…but in my personal experience, and hours of mentoring & life coaching girls through similar issues, these are what seem to have stood the test of time.

There is so much I want to share with you, so I’ve decided to break this topic into 3 posts, each focusing on 1 of the reasons I feel you are still ‘using’ food. If you want to follow along then fill in your email address above this post & you’ll get the updates when the posts are launched.

For today, I want to start with Reason #1….

 #1 It’s what was available when you needed a crutch

I feel that one of the leading reasons that people struggle to admit their dysfunctional relationship with food is due the fact that they simply can’t pinpoint when it began, and why.

For a long time this lack of certainty on the very thing that controlled my life, brought me to the conclusion that ‘it’ may just have been there from the beginning, and if that was the case, then everyone else must think (& act) the way I did. And with a big sigh of relief, I affirmed myself with ‘You don’t have a problem, this is just real life’.

Sitting here now this very notion drives shivers up my spine. My darling friend, NO NO NO, this is NOT normal. And YES you do have a problem. And YES YES YES you will beat it and live free of food defining your life!!!

But in saying that, I do understand your hesitancy in admitting your dysfunctional relationship with food…and personally I believe that you feel this because….

YOU NEVER MEANT TO START ABUSING FOOD. IT WAS JUST THERE WHEN YOU NEEDED IT.

What I mean by that, is that at some point in your life; perhaps in early childhood, maybe as a teen or even as a busy mum, food was there, and you needed a crutch and so your busy, worried or anxious little mind chose to control or ‘use’ what was infront you. Food! This easy commodity that you knew would always be there. And there’s a good chance you won’t be able to pinpoint the moment in time when you realized food could be your best friend or enemy. But it happened. And the sad thing is…your brain has remembered it ever since!!

And so yes, 10 years down the line, when the ‘sh%! hits the fan’, your anxious mind subconciously brings to memory the one thing that helped the last time you felt out of control, stressed, alone or experiencing a difficult emotion. Food!! And so the cycle was created….and continues. You hit a wobbly…your brain reminds you that abusing food in some way usually helps…you do just that…you feel good for a minute or two after bingeing, starving yourself, or rewarding yourself with an unhealthy snack…and then shame hits…and you feed your brain with words of self-hatered all afternoon. You forget, deal with the issue at hand in a more functional way (or repress it). But then when things fall apart later… AGAIN your brain goes back to the one thing that had been your crutch way back when. And so it continues.

So how do you stop this?? How do you change what your brain has learnt to lean on {as dysfunctional as it is}??

Breaking habits is hard. You can watch this video here where I explain a bit of the neuro-side of how to break negative habits.

But apart from that, I am going to tackle the next reason I feel that drives your dysfunctional relationship with food THIS Friday, and in that post we will discuss some of the ways to beat these two obstacles.

You’ve got this beautiful!!!

 {Please note that I only have my honours in Clinical Psych & have thus come up with theories outside of academia}

3 Comments

  1. Amy on February 23, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    I can’t believe after the weeks I have been having and how I was about to end my day, I opened up this in my email folder! It’s just what I needed to read, Wow! Thank you for being so inspiring, I really want to aim to start practicing what you speak about in your Blogs instead of just reading them and this one today was just what I needed xx

  2. caitlyndb on February 23, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Amy, I love receiving comments like this one. Thank u for sharing & yay for starting this new journey towards making what you want a reality in the here-and-now. You’ve this girl 🙂 Little changes every day, in our thought-life especially, make a MASSIVE impact down the line. xxx

  3. […] I cannot tell you the response I have got from my blogpost on Monday, ‘The truth behind your eating disorder: Part 1”. The one common theme that has come through in messages from you beautiful girls is simple – […]

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