Recently while coaching a client, they shared with me, their desire to become a morning person. Now, I’m all for goal setting – it’s my job and I love everything about it – but what I have recently been reflecting on, in my own life, is the idea that although possible, what if some things weren’t meant to be changed!
Now this may sound contradictory coming from a firm believer in your ability to achieve all you set your heart to…but really it’s not. You see, my ideal, and I feel many of your ideals’, is to find a balance in life. A balance between work and play. Business and rest. Social time and time alone. Achievement and contentment.
Balancing is an act we will all be novices in, in at least one area of our lives. For me, the balancing act has always been most difficult in the area of performance. The art of remaining driven and self-motivated while still being at peace with oneself is a tough task.
Over the past few years I have done plenty reflecting and am definitely more in touch with my weaknesses, strengths, dreams and longings than I have ever been before. This journey in discovering who I am, though, has opened up a certain box of possibilities that I had never considered. I’m a worker bee, I love keeping busy, being on my feet, and rarely will you ever find me ‘resting’. I was recently describing myself and my tendency to keep busy to someone, and I even went as far as sharing with this friend, that I eat my breakfast standing up. She was so amused that she said I should write this as a quote. But honestly, I do.
Being one of those energetic, non-stop types of people, my lifestyle tends to attract criticism. As with many personality types or characteristics, people like to point fingers, tell you what and who they feel you should be. I have been faced with numerous pieces of advice…Advice to slow down, to rest more, to sleep in, to have a drink. And after years of hearing these comments, I started to hate that I was always on the go, I started to look for reasons as to why I was made this way and was even confronted with the “What are you running from” mentality.
Truth be told, of course, we can and should, all slow down sometimes. And yes, at times, I have accomplished more by allowing myself to rest, to just ‘be’. But, as time has passed and I have had the privilege of working with a number of Life Coaching clients, I have noticed personality traits and characteristics that in the past I may have criticized or advised them to change, may in fact be a part of their very design. Of course your make-up is a combination of both nature and nurture. The parts of your life/personality that are determined by ‘nurture’ and can be considered ‘habits’ are fairly easy to address through goal-setting, but your nature (design) is what makes you unique. Nature was never meant to be changed!!
You are designed exactly as our Creator planned for you to look like, act like, dream, become…
For so long I fought with the real me. I fought with feelings of inadequacy, of self hatred, desiring to be something I wasn’t. But as I looked more realistically and intentionally at my life, my dreams, my personality and my fears, I have learnt to settle within myself that going to bed early wasn’t a crime (although others may say so), it was in fact what works for me…and as does getting up with the birds!! I’m using a simple example but I’m hoping that you are able to see beyond this.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the client I met with, who desires to start waking up early, has it all wrong. Not at all. Goals are important, I’m passionate about goal-setting, they keep us moving forward, they help us grow. But what is even more important is coming to grips with who you were created to be. In today’s society, the art of loving and accepting yourself is nothing less than a miracle.
The real challenge for us all is to get to know yourself!! Get to know your weaknesses, strengths, desires and dreams. Get to know what makes you tick, what the optimal environment is for you to function at your best. Get to know your design. Because once you know and learn to accept that you (for instance) work best at night, you’ll start to settle in your soul that you are not a lazy person for sleeping in, you are just unique. You have your own make-up and when you live in-line with the way you were designed to live, you’ll find more than just balance. You will find peace.
And so yes, I wake up early and I go to bed early too. And that may not work for you…but it sure does work for me J