I was chatting to a client this past week and she shared how she just wasn’t getting around to putting her ideas into action…I challenged her by asking, “What’s stopping you?” She thought for a while and then simply added, I guess I’m scared it won’t work out.
As a Life Coach…I believe that no one ever intends to live a difficult life. We create our “limiting beliefs” as a form of protection for ourselves. Usually we go through something unpleasant and our unconscious minds then decide to label this so called experience as a “NO GO” area – in other words, we create a belief that we should not try this again. This innate process we go through is not to limit us, it’s too protect us from ugly feelings; however, what our unconscious mind is not aware of, is that life is about giving things a second chance, it’s about taking risks and exploring avenues that may be scary but may yield beautiful results.
For the most part, we were not born with fears…they are learnt through a process of trial and error. When we fail at something or feel an unpleasant emotion while doing something, we label it, and from then on, we usually fear it! At first, fear has a tiny voice…only heard on certain occasions…but give it time and you’ll be checking with fear before you make any big life decisions. He’s that convincing!
I’ll give you a quick example. Most people think I’m game for anything outdoors-ey. This is true for the most part…except that I usually only embrace the things that I know I’m good at, things I’ve conquered or due to past experience, I feel I will catch onto quickly. In Grade 6, my family went water skiing. It was my first ever attempt at skiing and I failed, miserably. I tried to stand 4 times and after not getting the hang of it (this was only after about 10 minutes), I gave up. From the ripe age of 11, until almost my 22nd birthday…I avoided water skiing altogether. I would sit on the boat, I would wake board but skiing was now a “fear”, a “no go” area…I couldn’t do it and so I wouldn’t put myself in a situation where I felt like an idiot again.
That was until we were in Mauritius at the end of 2010 and we happened to go skiing one day. I decided the moment had come…I would take the risk and see if my fears had any right “at all” in dictating my life. And guess what…I failed to stand the first time but on my second attempt, I skied across our entire bay. Today…I’m not scared of skiing any more – it only took a tiny wink of courage, to try again.
So let’s get real friends. Fears…well, we all have them. They may be different but all are limiting us in some regard.
Challenge yourself this week – Do something that scares you It’s invigorating and freeing and oh so rewarding!!!