H and I spent 2013 living in Korea and we had the privilege of going to one of H’s colleagues wedding. We found ourselves a seat in one of the pews behind a young family. Through out the service, the two kids (aged around 4 and 5) repeatedly looked at H and I and burst into hysterical laughter. While their parents attempted to control them, eventually both kids surfaced from behind their pew pushing the corners of their eyes in and pushing their noses up – in an attempt to replicate our ‘odd’ western faces. H and I had a good chuckle as the kids’ very embarrassed parents apologized profusely in broken English and whisked them out of the church.
What I learnt from that moment was that while western kids see Asian eyes as different (even strange), they too see us in the same light. By seeing the same thing repeatedly, or by repeating a certain behaviour – in time, our brains deem this as normal; regardless of whether it is accurate or not.
I just got off the phone with a client of mine who has had a rough week and feels as if everything we have been working towards over the past few weeks has fallen apart. My encouragement to her was simple. It hasn’t fallen apart, your brain is just remembering old habits and going back to them as it’s coping mechanism. Remember, that it is only through repetition that our brains learn NEW positive coping mechanisms, and eventually these become our go-to’s.
My thoughts for those out there who are reading this is to START THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT. Don’t let negative self loathing, false assumptions or unhealthy coping mechanisms rule your thought space. Take a moment (TODAY) to pause and do a quick internal refection of where you’re at, what you’re feeling and what can change immediately… then do just that.
Remember that you (And only YOU) can create a head space that you want to live in!!